that hurt op – Time's Vengeance

jackalopingintothevoid:

jackalopingintothevoid:

@yourfacesickens-me requested Master Chief headcanons!

Headcanon A: realistic
John is biracial. He is described in the books as having a lot of typically white features but that doesn’t mean he is white. If he hadn’t spent 30 years with no sunlight (i hope that boy’s getting his vit D supplements) he’d be brown-skinned for sure. This is the hill I will die on.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
I honestly don’t have very many funny headcanons for my tragic son… but I do love the idea of the Infinity’s Spartan-IV’s approaching Chief and trying to bond with him by inviting him the rec room with them. And they get him drunk. It’s not hard despite his size and muscle mass since he’s never had a drop of alcohol in his life, and he’s cuddly and keeps singing, then just to really rub it in gets no hangover at all the next day. But he’s so enthused about how much fun he had with his ~new friends~ that he keeps getting invited no matter how awkward it gets.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
John’s never seen a baby that’s alive.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
Both of John’s parents evacuated Eridanus II before it was glassed and are still alive circa 2558. They were listening to Benjamin Giraud’s broadcasts and though they never got the chance to send him a message to confirm it the way the facts match up is undeniable. They know the son they lost 40 years ago is the Master Chief and though they don’t know how to contact him they’ll hold out hope until they see him again.

@veta-lopis Bringing this back to draw attention to Headcanon B, because honestly this is the dream.