Megan: “Me and Sharks like to binge watch old cryptid documentaries!! Felix used to join us! but he’s banned until he stops saying lewd things about Mothman.”
For Felix you want something fast, small, loud, expensive, high-maintenance, and dramatic.
So OBVIOUSLY a Ducati. Absolute divas. Top of the line race bike: 1199 Panigale. Because why be anything else when you can be Extra?
HOWEVER how could anyone overlook the very aptly-named and buck naked Monster 797 or 1100:
Even comes in orange.
However, truly, at the end of the day I really think he would get the thing that would piss Locus off the most, and would 100% roll up on a fucking Vespa: