twistedhellknight52:

I have, darkness inside me… that darkness is, called acid reflux and heartburn

chickenkeeping:

chickenkeeping:

HEY WE GOT IT

itsybatsy:

worldsworstfather:

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

me:

jewishmilesedgeworth:

jewishmilesedgeworth:

jewishmilesedgeworth:

so excited about the prospect of finally having an apartment of my own that i got the shakes in the home goods section of a TJ Max

concerned bystander: ma’am? are you all right?
me, on the verge of tears: apardmint…….

i panicked and bought a set of tasteful novelty dish towels 

moonpaw:

Where the hell is my phone????

*shakes blankets one by one*

Thunk

There it is

hallucin8:

me: knows bologna is pronounced baloney

my only brain cell: bollog nah

thebootydiaries:

when you hear someone talking about an obsession of yours

courage-95: