Genji: Their ‘E’ button is permanently held down
Tracer: Wee! Wee! Wee! Ever get that- ever get that feel- Wee! Wee! Ever get that f-
McCree: Entering MAX TUMBLEWEED MODE
Sombra: Teleports to the other side of the map then dies
Soldier 76: Reported for aimbot
Reaper: How look I’m over here! Now I’m over here! I take no damage whatsoever! Now DIE.
Widowmaker: No-one can hide. Ever. I will find you.
Hanzo: Scattur! Scattur! Scat-
Bastion: Unkillable. Just don’t even try.
Junkrat: Now we’re cooking with TIRES.
Mei: Never leaves the point, always walls off her team.
Torbjörn: There is no God. Only 1000 health Torbs with Level 3 turrets.
Symmetra: THE DEVIL INCARNATE FOR GOD’S SAKE KAPLAN NERF HER
Reinhardt: Is just trying his best, overestimates how much health he has and constantly charges the enemy team.
D.Va: ALL YOUR ULTS ARE BELONG TO US
Orisa: Just sits in one spot permanently putting shields up and dancing. Probably has a bastion with her
Zarya: MAXIMUM CHARGE MAXIMUM CHARGE MAXIMU-
Winston: Flies around the map, never does anything until he gets his ult
Roadhog: Unkillable but cannot do anything except hook people off cliffs and push entire teams backwards, a nuisance to play against but never actually kills you
Lucio: CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP PERMANENT SPEED AMPED UP OH YEAH WHO’S WITH ME
Zenyatta: EXPERIENCE THIS DICK
Mercy: A cryptid, will just hide until her entire team dies and then resurrects just to disappear again
Ana: May God have mercy on your soul. Your ‘8 hours’ has just turned to 24.