Somebody said Humans would be the Mad Scientist species to aliens- like, aliens watch Back To The Future, and they see Doc Brown, and they think yes this is a human scientist, they’re all that crazy, these humans do such insane things with science.
I would like to offer an alternative.
Humans are tough. We can shrug off plenty of injuries, and we recover pretty fast from most others. Hell, we find minor injuries amusing (Don’t tell me you’ve never laughed at someone getting hit in the balls).
Humans have a skewed sense of danger. We think baby anything is cute- tigers, lions, alligators, whatever, no matter how scary they grow up to be- and even then there’s people that would happily cuddle up to a grizzly. Even less adventurous humans keep vermin as pets, or snakes, or dogs, that apex predator sub-species we made.
We are fascinated by morbid and scary stuff. We have a whole genre designed to terrify people. Tons of fantasy revolves around deadly monsters, plenty of which involve romance with said monsters. Lots of grim dystopias in sci-fi. Even children’s stories involve grandmothers getting eaten or witches getting cooked in their own oven.
And if you’re on this site, you know all the jokes we make about depression or social anxiety, or joking about wanting to die.
We aren’t the Doc Brown species.
We’re the Addams Family Species.
We’re the Addams Family species
Alright, this is the best “humans are weird” I’ve seen yet.
my new thing has been just… acting on my ideas. like i thought maybe my desk would look better on a different part of my room so i like. moved it? just like that! i ripped an old anatomy book and stuck the diagrams up on my wall like some kind of old timey victorian doctor. i wanted a starbucks and i walked one and a half miles back and forth in a floridian storm and goddamn it was a good coffee. life is too short babey if you think of something just do it. nike
Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.
Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.
Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.
Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE
Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process
You know, I train with (martial arts) a bunch of dudes, and a few bodybuilders have showed up over the years.
And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way.
Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build.
No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them.
And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast.
Bodybuilding culture is bullshit. Embrace your status as a giant barbarian and if anyone gives you crap throw them off a mountain.
Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them.
“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”
“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”
It’s just.
50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job.
i also like that this is a “ask craftspeople” thing, it reminds me of when art historians were all “the fuck” about someone’s ear “deformity” in a portrait and couldn’t work out what the symbolism was until someone who’d also worked as a piercer was like “uhm, he’s fucked up a piercing there”. interdisciplinary shit also needs to include non-academic approaches because crafts & trades people know shit ok
when you load up kingdom hearts and the title screen fades in and you can hear the ocean swooshing and dearly beloved starts playing and all of a sudden all life issues go away and all internal conflict is resolved and it doesnt matter who loves u and u feel eternal
Religious vampires trying to find ways to balance their ideologies with their needs
Sirens learning sign language so they can communicate without enchanting anyone
Disabled fairies who can’t fly pushing for accessibility
Spirits helping save people from fires and other natural disasters because they can access areas too dangerous for the living
Dragons becoming foster parents and providing super safe homes for “hordes” of children until they grow up
Female werewolves with facial hair and body hair not letting anyone make them feel bad about it
Fae snatching children from abusive homes and raising them in safety while the changeling wreaks havoc
Liberated genies using their power to fight for human rights
Witchy cooking shows where witches try to make specific potions or find creative magical solutions to problems
Psychic psychologists and medical doctors who are able to figure out exactly how to help even if their patient is non-verbal, young, or afraid of being honest because they’re with an abuser
Psychic teachers knowing just what to do to help students with learning disabilities
Yes please.
I just slammed the reblog button so hard my phone broke.
Hell hound service animals
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL
HELLHOUND SERVICE DOGS
Leprechauns paying off overdue school lunch fees and student loans and rent/utility bills for charitable organizations.
Griffons policing wildlife preserves and hunting down poachers.
Selkies teaming up with the Coast Guard for search and rescue efforts.
Brownies visiting the homes of people with chronic fatigue to help catch up on chores.
Time's Vengeance 