puer-glaciem:

Send a character’s name to receive four different headcanons

Headcanon A:  realistic

Mendez got Kurt hooked on coffee early on in the III Program. Especially after the poor man clearly hadn’t slept in a few days. Every year he would get his LC one bag of pure coffee beans.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

To ‘calibrate’ each class’ armor, Kurt would make the IIIs dance in their SPI/MJOLNIR. The music would be random, ranging from modern hits to classics such as the Macarena and the chicken dance.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Kurt saw the IIIs like his own kids. Not only was it his responsibility to train them and equip them for the nightmare ahead, he also had to make sure they were as balanced and centered as a Spartan could be. Every loss that their numbers suffered made him want to train the next class even harder in hopes that maybe they could survive longer. Anything was fair game to keep those kids alive.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

KURT LIVES AND SAVES BLUE TEAM FROM CORTANA BEFORE ASKING FOR A CUP OF COFFEE BECAUSE HE’S GOT THE BIGGEST HANKERING THIS SIDE OF THE GALAXY. GETS OFFENDED WHEN OFFERED THE UNSC STANDARD BREW.