i wish there was more talk on tumblr about hypersexuality as a response to trauma, tbh. i see a lot of talk about asexuality and sex-repulsion due to trauma, but i rarely see people talk about the opposite. idk, its a difficult subject i suppose
Hypersexuality as a result of trauma can happen because you start believing you’re not good for anything else but sex. Because you believe you can’t expect love without it. Because you believe sex is the only way anyone could possibly connect to others. Because sex is the only kind of intimacy you’re “any good at”. Because you don’t know how else to get attention. Because it’s easier to get sex than love. Because cuddling after sex is the only way you know how to get nonsexual physical touch. Because you’re high/drunk all the time. Because you have no libido/desire/attraction anymore and keep hoping that having sex will kickstart it. Because you’re good at sex and it’s the only way to get recognition and respect. Because you were told that you’re “bad at sex” and you feel ashamed and are trying to “get better at it.” Because you have flashbacks if you abstain from sex. Because you feel wordlessly desperate/scared/anxious if you don’t have sex for a certain period of time. Because you associate sex with danger and you don’t believe you’re allowed to be safe. Because you feel so bad so much of the time that sex/orgasm is the only way to calm down or feel good anymore. Because you’ve been re-targeted by other abusers/perpetrators who can tell you don’t know how to say no. Because you’re still with your abuser/rapist/perpetrator and the only way to prevent “worse” violence is to initiate sex. Because sex is physically or emotionally painful for you and you’re using sex to self-harm.
Hypersexuality after trauma is way more common than anyone wants to believe, and it can happen for so, so many different reasons. These are just a few.
I was touch starved as a kid. And I relate so much to the orgasm = calm/feel good so bad. And also, I’m constantly on edge so sex and orgasm sometimes is the only way to fucking chill out or release tension from anxiety.
It doesn’t make me predatory, and I would never force my partner into anything unless they are completely comfortable, because I know what that feels like.
And when I do a good job, it’s so validating, like I’m actually able to achieve something and make someone feel good or want me around. I love to give just as much as I love to receive.
one thing i think is interesting, as someone who basically grew up playing video games non-stop, is how some types of video game just don’t gel with people
like, it’s easy to forget that, even though i’m pretty bad at most games, that my skill at handling video games is definitely “above average.” as much as i hate to put it like this, i’d say my experience level is at “expert” solely because I can pick up any game controller and understand how to use it with no additional training.
a friend of mine on twitter
posted a video of him stuck on a part of samus returns. the tutorial area where it teaches you how to ledge-grab. the video is of him jumping against the wall, doing everything but grabbing the ledge, and him getting frustrated
i’ve been playing games all my life, so i’d naturally intuit that i should jump towards the ledge to see what happens
but he doesn’t do that.
it’s kinda making me realize that as games are becoming more complex and controllers are getting more buttons, games are being designed more and more for people who already know how to play them and not people with little to no base understanding of the types of games they’re playing
so that’s got me thinking: should video games assume that you have zero base knowledge of video games and try to teach you from there? should Metroid: Samus Returns assume that you already know how to play a Metroid game and base its tutorial around that, or should it assume that you’ve never even played Mario before?
it’s got me thinking about that Cuphead video again. you know the one. to anyone with a lot of experience with video games, especially 2D ones, we would naturally intuit that one part of the tutorial to require a jump and a dash at the same time.
but most people lack that experience and that learned intuition and might struggle with that, and that’s something a lot of people forget to consider.
it reminds me a bit of the “land of Punt” that I read about in this Tumblr post. Egypt had this big trading partner back in the day called Punt and they wrote down everything about it except where it was, because who doesn’t know where Punt is? and now, we have no idea where it was, because everyone in Egypt assumed everyone else knew.
take that same line of thinking with games: “who doesn’t know how to play a 2D platform game?” nobody takes in to consideration the fact that somebody might not know how to play a 2D game on a base level, because that style of gameplay is thoroughly ingrained in to the minds of the majority of gamers. and then the Cuphead situation happens.
the point of this post isn’t to make fun of anybody, but to ask everyone to step back for a second and consider that things that they might not normally consider. as weird as it is to think about for people that grew up playing video games, anyone who can pick up a controller with thirty buttons on it and not get intimidated is actually operating at an expert level. if you pick up a playstation or an Xbox controller and your thumbs naturally land on the face buttons and the analog stick and your index fingers naturally land on the trigger buttons, that is because you are an expert at operating a complex piece of machinery. you have a lifetime of experience using this piece of equipment, and assuming that your skill level is the base line is a problem.
that assumption is rapidly becoming a problem as games become more complex. it’s something that should be considered when talking about games going forward. games should be accessible, but it’s reaching a point where even Nintendo games are assuming certain levels of skill without teaching the player the absolute basics. basics like “what is an analog stick” and “where should my fingers even be on this controller right now.”
basically what i’m saying is that games are becoming too complex for new players to reasonably get in to and are starting to assume skill levels higher than what should be considered the base line. it’s becoming a legitimate problem that shouldn’t be laughed at and disregarded. it’s very easy to forget that thing things YOU know aren’t known by everyone and that idea should be taken in to consideration when talking about video games.
It doesn’t help that, besides Nintendo (who mainly market to children and families and thus are aware that most people playing their games are inexperienced or have little free time), much of the AAA games market naturally markets their games at either teens/young adults by age rating, or at the same by virtue of nostalgia appeal (e.g.: Cuphead, Crash Bandicoot and other remasters and so on – their audience is primarily people who will appreciate the original and hanker for more).
And a lot of indie games that have gotten popular are also popular with the same demographic because they offer something different or, again, appeal to nostalgic gameplay memories. A lot of ‘artsy’ games have limited instruction and guidance to maintain the aesthetic, but this means ‘tutorial’ sections might be mostly unguided.
Time's Vengeance 