Aries: The stars can’t remember where they put your horoscope. I am looking, but perhaps you will get two tomorrow?
Taurus: Learn to dance. It will come in handy.
Gemini: The blood of English kings cakes your family tree.
Cancer: The coyote that stalks the freezer section at the supermarket is an ill omen, consider a trip to trader Joe’s.
Leo: The can of paint in your bathroom has become a part of the scenery. Strange how forgetfullness can imbed itself in our lives.
Virgo: It’s time to replace your toothbrush, stars said so.
Libra: Revenge is a flavourful, yet fleeting, spice. Turmeric is an acceptable substitution.
Scorpio: We all have an evil nature inside of us. Tax fraud is tax fraud though.
Sagittarius: Worry does not speak any language that you are used to, worry speaks tagolag.
Capricorn: Retain your air of mystery. Vanish into the night with nary a trace. Leave them wondering.
Aquarius: It all seems so simple in books dosent it?
Pisces: The angel misses you. Leave some snacks out.
Tag: aye
This good boy is a chimera, which is an animal that is genetically two animals, in this case he’s a yellow and black lab. This means he is twice the good boy. (Not my picture, found on Facebook)
this is by far the least upsetting dog chimera I’ve ever seen
Reblogging for Good Dog Chimera
Reblog for protection from the Bad Dog Chimera™ (you know the one)
Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.
I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.
‘Vagina-owners’
Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus
Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special
Y’all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?
There is actually a test for that last one!
Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room
Reblogging for the useful info as well as the lack of any transphobic comments! =P
Ditto!
Shout out to chubby women just because.
Shoutout to all the 1997-2001 kids who are somehow hybrids of millennials and gen z. We are the Ultimate Generation of 90’s nostalgia and new age internet depression.
Time's Vengeance 