one of the least helpful things ive been told as a neurodivergent person is “don’t half ass things”
if you can quarter ass something, do it! if all you can do is clean a corner of your room, or only read one of the two assigned chapters, or write the heading for your resume, or put all the papers for taxes in a pile, do it! if today isn’t a whole ass day, take pride in the portion of ass that you were capable of
don’t let neurotypicals work ethic define how you did today
totally, if you can pick your laundry up off the floor and put it in a basket today, it will be so much easier to put it in the machine and wash it tomorrow. If you can stack the dishes now, it will be easier to wash them later.
Half assing as a first stepping stone is so good, it is much better than not being able to do anything because “if you can’t do it properly, why do it at all”.
Do what you can today, to make life easier tomorrow.
i wish there was more talk on tumblr about hypersexuality as a response to trauma, tbh. i see a lot of talk about asexuality and sex-repulsion due to trauma, but i rarely see people talk about the opposite. idk, its a difficult subject i suppose
Hypersexuality as a result of trauma can happen because you start believing you’re not good for anything else but sex. Because you believe you can’t expect love without it. Because you believe sex is the only way anyone could possibly connect to others. Because sex is the only kind of intimacy you’re “any good at”. Because you don’t know how else to get attention. Because it’s easier to get sex than love. Because cuddling after sex is the only way you know how to get nonsexual physical touch. Because you’re high/drunk all the time. Because you have no libido/desire/attraction anymore and keep hoping that having sex will kickstart it. Because you’re good at sex and it’s the only way to get recognition and respect. Because you were told that you’re “bad at sex” and you feel ashamed and are trying to “get better at it.” Because you have flashbacks if you abstain from sex. Because you feel wordlessly desperate/scared/anxious if you don’t have sex for a certain period of time. Because you associate sex with danger and you don’t believe you’re allowed to be safe. Because you feel so bad so much of the time that sex/orgasm is the only way to calm down or feel good anymore. Because you’ve been re-targeted by other abusers/perpetrators who can tell you don’t know how to say no. Because you’re still with your abuser/rapist/perpetrator and the only way to prevent “worse” violence is to initiate sex. Because sex is physically or emotionally painful for you and you’re using sex to self-harm.
Hypersexuality after trauma is way more common than anyone wants to believe, and it can happen for so, so many different reasons. These are just a few.
I was touch starved as a kid. And I relate so much to the orgasm = calm/feel good so bad. And also, I’m constantly on edge so sex and orgasm sometimes is the only way to fucking chill out or release tension from anxiety.
It doesn’t make me predatory, and I would never force my partner into anything unless they are completely comfortable, because I know what that feels like.
And when I do a good job, it’s so validating, like I’m actually able to achieve something and make someone feel good or want me around. I love to give just as much as I love to receive.
Time's Vengeance 