The Eater of Worlds raid is 10x funnier when you realize you didn’t even go there to fix Calus’ “engine problem” or any other discernible reason you just show up at his house and start beating the shit out of his men until he’s like “Hey since you’re here you wanna kill this giant Vex Mind that’s clogging my ship?” and ur like “sure” and the only reason your dumb ass survived was because he likes you enough to save you and honestly? Doesn’t get more Destiny than that.
every destiny raid is fueled by luck and recklessness
Vault of Glass: your ass only lives because kabr made the aegis back when he died
Crotas End: you only live because crota happened to have a sword collection (tbh id have a sword collection too if i could)
Kings Fall: you only live because oryx left his food laying around so you could throw it at him
Wrath of the Machine: you only get to the boss because the splicers left a goddamned death machine right next to the front door
Leviathan: you dont even kill calus, you kill some rats and his roomba
Eater of Worlds: “hurr good thing I love you OR YOUD BE DEAD”
The surgical team at St. Bonaventure has, what they affectionately call, The List. The List is on each of their phones, and it is a list of every single topic that they absolutely cannot, should not, and will not bring up during work hours. This was implemented after Claire and Jared spent fifteen minutes arguing about whether or not some actor deserved some award for some tv show. Melendez was so sick of hearing about it that he banned them from talking about it anymore. And before too long he began to ban more things that were distracting, and it got to be so many that they all had to keep track of it in their notes. And every time someone says or does something against The List, they’re immediately shut down, usually by Shaun, who responds to their breach by shoving his phone in their face.
It’s an expansive list that goes on and on. Claire can’t talk about the newest episode of The Bachelor on Tuesdays, and it’s forbidden to ask whether a hotdog is a sandwich or a taco because that had sparked a five minute controversy. Jared isn’t allowed to sing the Wherenberg theme song because he sings it wrong, and it annoys both Melendez and Shaun to no end. It’s on The List that Shaun can’t call Melendez arrogant anymore, but he still does anyway, so it’s kind of pointless. But it’s just as fair, because Shaun had asked if they could put ‘Melendez can’t be rude or grumpy to his students’ on The List and it had been vetoed.
other writers: plan out their stories, have their characters figured out and know how they’re going to grow. write every day, keep hydrated.
me, a goblin: jump in headfirst with only a vague plan and a feeling. who are these characters?????? fuck if i know, we find out as we go! plot what plot? i’m just as surprised at this development as you are. writes only on full moons. only ingests caffeine.
Here’s to all my boys with love handles, stretch marks, ribs that show, who feel they are too big or too small, who feel “unmanly,” who have cellulite, who can’t grow facial hair, who can’t seem to gain weight or lose it, who feel “too short” or wish they looked like a male model. Y’all matter. Love you. 💕
Time's Vengeance 